Thursday, December 11, 2014

11th of December 2014 - Mothers' Milk

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

11th of December 2014

Dear Sir/Madam,
 
MOTHERS' MILK

I can think of nothing more pleasant than seeing a young woman's breast being used for the purpose for which it was evolved - although, at my advanced years, I no longer find it as erotic as I once did. Those men who object to public breastfeeding must have had poor relationships with their mothers, be homosexualist, or, (most probably) suffer from both.

John Eoin Douglas

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

19th of November 2014 - Hill View

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
19th of November 2014

Dear Sir/Madam,
 
HILL VIEW

The Scottish Parliament is to be congratulated on passing anti-alcohol legislation to reduce the blood/alcohol limit for motorists thereby significantly reducing deaths and injuries on our roads. This has been done in the face of considerable opposition from the alcohol trade.
 
It is now time for them to address the annual carnage of hillwalkers and mountaineers in the hills of Scotland. Whilst a blanket ban on such activities might inconvenience a few people and businesses, gallivanting around the more elevated portions of our countryside is no more necessary than drinking and driving and its abolition would save many more lives.

John Eoin Douglas

Sunday, October 26, 2014

26th of October 2014 - Setting An Example

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

26th of October 2014

Dear Sir/Madam,

SETTING AN EXAMPLE

I am astounded that our usually sensible Transport leader Councillor Lesley Hinds thinks that removing cobbles and setts will improve Edinburgh for cyclists (Edinburgh Evening News 25th October).

Amsterdam, a city renowned as a pedalists' paradise, surely demonstrates that it is many more setts and at least a dozen more tram lines that are needed if Edinburgh is ever to become a true cyclists' Nirvanah!

I wonder if Ms Hinds would support a compulsory cycle registration scheme in order to pay for this and help to weed out dangerous cyclists?

John Eoin Douglas

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

14th of October 2014 - Measured Stance

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
14th of October 2014

Dear Sir/Madam,

MEASURED STANCE

I could be persuaded to tolerate UKIP's nuttier policies like withdrawing from the EU and might even turn a blind eye to Nigel Farage's conspicuous consumption of real ale and cigarettes which gives regretable support to the evil alcohol and tobacco industries, if UKIP made it a pre-condition of any coalition that we dump metric measurement in favour of the traditional Imperial system and return £SD to our pockets and tills.

Adopting these policies would greatly increase UKIP's support amongst pensioners like myself.
John Eoin Douglas

Sunday, September 21, 2014

21st of September 2014 - Establishment View

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

21st of September 2014

Dear Sir/Madam,

ESTABLISHMENT VIEW

Now that a clear majority North of the Border has comprehensively rejected Scottishness, surely it is time for us to have an Established Church in North Britain?

The Episcopal Church of Scotland would be ideal for this role and it would be only fitting were the Queen to appoint one of their Bishops to sit in the House of Lords alongside their Anglican colleagues.

John Eoin Douglas

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

3rd of September 2014 - Return Option

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
3rd of September 2014

Dear Sir/Madam,

RETURN OPTION

I am getting increasingly confused by the rhetoric of Better Together.

They say that if Scotland votes for independence there is "no going back", They also claim that the rest of the UK don't want us to go. So, surely if things didn't work out under independence, we'd be welcomed back especially if we came begging with our tails between our legs?

John Eoin Douglas

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

26th of August 2014 - Sail Away

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
26th of August 2014

Dear Sir/Madam,
 
SAIL AWAY

I am surprised that First Minister Salmond thinks an independent Scotland would take over five years to get rid of nuclear submarines.
 
For what these vessels have cost, one would have thought that they would be able to sail down the Clyde and out of Scottish waters in but a few hours! Whilst any weapons of mass destruction that they were unable to take with them could be sent on by road the following day.

John Eoin Douglas

Thursday, August 21, 2014

21st of August 2014 - Safety First

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
21st of August 2014
 


Dear Sir/Madam,

SAFETY FIRST
 
Continuing reports of pedal cyclists coming a cropper on Edinburgh's tram tracks beg the question: Why are the City Council's Health and Safety professionals doing nothing?

For their own safety, cyclists should be immediately banned from any routes in contact with the tram system which, in view of its slight extent, would impose but a minimal burden.
 
Alternatively, if they were compelled to be preceded by persons on foot in hi-viz apparel (the modern equivalent of the red flag) this might also benefit unwary pedestrians who already have the occasional tram with which to contend.

 And, if it saves one child...

John Eoin Douglas

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

20th of August 2014 - Don't Kill The Golden Goose

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
 
20th of August 2014
 
Dear Sir/Madam,
 
DON'T KILL THE GOLDEN GOOSE

Claims that Scotland is being subsidised by England encourage me to vote "No" in the independence referendum.
 
Canny Scots should grab every penny we can. The debate can be re-visited in 20 years or so when the UK is bankrupt or earlier if the English wake up and kick us out of the Union first!

John Eoin Douglas

Friday, August 1, 2014

1st of August 2014 - Not Paying The Piper

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
 
1st of August 2014
 
Dear Sir/Madam,

NOT PAYING THE PIPER

What price a National Anthem for an independent Scotland? Clearly the impoverished nation predicted by Better Together could never afford to pay royalties for "Flower of Scotland" to The Corries (Music) Ltd who must be laughing all the way to the bank after its frequent outings at the Commonwealth Games this last week.

Perhaps it's time for Alex Salmond to announce "Scots Wha Hae" as Plan B? This, in addition to  having far superior words and tune to Roy Williamson's kailyard dirge, has the advantage of being long out of copyright!

John Eoin Douglas

Monday, July 7, 2014

7th of July 2014 - Tartan Tat

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
7th of July 2014

Dear Sir/Madam,

TARTAN TAT

If the cringeworthy uniform to be worn by Scots competitors at the Commonwealth Games is an example of Scottish decision making, it will do much to swell the "No" vote in the Independence Referendum. Frankly, one would not do this to a sofa!

John Eoin Douglas

Monday, June 2, 2014

2nd of June 2014 - Watering Down The Bag Tax

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
 
2nd of June 2014
 
Dear Sir/Madam,

WATERING DOWN THE BAG TAX

I object strongly to being compelled to contribute to the over inflated salaries of Chief Executives of charities I have no wish to support. Yet this is what the Scottish Parliament has achieved by passing legislation to force shops to charge for plastic bags and donate the proceeds to charity.

In order to revenge myself on the Green aspirations of these Eco Warriors and their "War Against Bags", I shall be leaving my cold water tap running continuously and urge others to do likewise.

John Eoin Douglas

Friday, May 9, 2014

9th of May 2014 - Food Debate

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

9th of May 2014

Dear Sir/Madam,

FOOD DEBATE

The current vociferous campaign against Halal and Shechita slaughter of food animals is a transparent excuse to get away with showing the sort of prejudice against Moslems and Jews that is no longer acceptable in a multi-racial and multi-faith society. After all, if anybody really cared about animal suffering, they'd be vegans and not debating about whether pre-stunning is necessary.

As an atheist carnivore, I can merely attest to the infinitely superior flavour of animals killed by these methods. Unfortunately, I have been unable to procure a supply of pork so killed. But if any of your readers know of a religion or culture which mandates killing in this way and eats pig meat, I would be glad to hear from them.

John Eoin Douglas

Saturday, April 12, 2014

12th of April 2014 - Tram Measures

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

12th of April 2014

Dear Sir/Madam,

TRAM MEASURES

Whilst reading about the latest problems with Edinburgh's Trams (Evening News 12 April), I couldn't help but notice that the deficient lengths of track were described in metres and kilometres.

The Victorian engineers who built our original system did a very good job using feet and inches. Perhaps it is this fetish for metrication (one unfortunately shared by your newspaper) which has led to uncertainty and imprecision in construction and has brought us to the present fiasco?

In the increasingly likely event that everything has to be dug up again and the tracks relaid, it is still not too late to insist on the use of Imperial measure thus restoring appropriate precision and familiarity to the undertaking.

John Eoin Douglas

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

2nd of April 2014 - Team Rationalisation

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

2nd of April 2014

Dear Sir/Madam,

TEAM RATIONALISATION

I really do not see what the fuss is anent the possibly bankruptcy of Heart of Midlothian Football Club.

In this day and age, surely no Scottish city needs to have more than one football team? A merger between Hibernean and Hearts would do much to promote the Scottish Government's anti-Sectarian agenda. And it would also allow either the Gorgie or Easter Road stadia to be re-developed for much needed social housing.

A move like this in Edinburgh could show the way to Scotland's second city and encourage Glasgow to follow a similar approach with Celtic, Rangers and Partick Thistle - not all of whom are even currently active in top league football.

John Eoin Douglas