Thursday, January 17, 2019

17th of January 2019 - Out To Lunch


7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
Twitter: @johneoindouglas
 
17th of January 2019

Dear Sir/Madam,

OUT TO LUNCH

Jeremy Corbyn's refusal to discuss Brexit with the Prime Minister unless No Deal is taken off the table reminds me of the Vegan who refuses to partake from a buffet table groaning with vegetable delights where the sole meat item is a plate of inferior sausages only included to nominally cater for another dietary minority and which no sensible diner will actually touch!

John Eoin Douglas

Wednesday, January 9, 2019

9th of January 2019 - Moped Fatality

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
Twitter: @johneoindouglas
9th of January 2019

Dear Sir/Madam,

MOPED FATALITY

Whilst the fatal stabbing of Jayden Moodey in Waltham Forest is most regretable, one really has to ask why his parents permitted the 14-year-old to flout the law of the land by reportedly driving a moped on a public road when the minimum age for so doing is 16?

John Eoin Douglas

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

26th of December 2018 - Ruined Broadcast

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
Twitter: @johneoindouglas
 
26th of December 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

RUINED BROADCAST

One of my annual highlights, the Queen's Christmas Day Broadcast, was totally ruined for me this year by widespread advance publication of its contents.

Leaking details of the broadcast was once virtually a hanging offence but it seems that this is now actually a duty of palace officials. Next year, it would be nice for Her Majesty's remarks to come as a total surprise.

John Eoin Douglas

Monday, December 17, 2018

17th of December 2018 - Gleaming Parts

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
Twitter: @johneoindouglas
 
17th of December 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

GLEAMING PARTS

Edinburgh Council has given up discouraging folk from wearing away the statue of Greyfriars Bobby by rubbing its nose.

If the crotch of poet Robert Fergusson's statue in the Canongate were similarly stimulated causing it to gleam inappropriately, would security guards with tasers be employed?

John Eoin Douglas


Monday, November 12, 2018

12th of November 2018 - Word Perfect


7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
Twitter: @johneoindouglas
 
12th of November 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

WORD PERFECT

Whilst others have been quick to criticise Jeremy Corbyn's sartorial choices, what I found most telling about the Leader of the Opposition's presence at the Cenotaph on Sunday was that he was the only politician singing Oh God Our Help In Ages Past without having to refer to the hymn sheet.

John Eoin Douglas

Thursday, October 18, 2018

18th of October 2018 - Kirk Closure Downside


7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
Twitter: @johneoindouglas
 
18th of October 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

KIRK CLOSURE DOWNSIDE

As an atheist, I was gratified to learn that the number of churchgoers has declined to the extent that the Church of Scotland intends to declare 20 Shetland kirks surplus to requirements.

Nevertheless, as one passionately opposed to the menace of alcohol, I wonder if the continued weekly dispense of palpable nonsense might not be preferable to these buildings falling into the hands of Wetherspoons or other evil purveyors of the demon drug.

John Eoin Douglas

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

25th of July 2018 - Is There A Convenient Answer?

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
 
25th of July 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

IS THERE A CONVENIENT ANSWER?

Whilst your readers seem unlikely to agree on Brexit, I wonder if they can achieve a consensus on the burning question of our times:

Why do modern on-train toilets require the operation of two buttons to close and lock the door but only one to unlock and open it?

John Eoin Douglas