18th of April 2020 - Clap For The Queen

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

18th of April 2020

Dear Sir/Madam,

CLAP FOR THE QUEEN

Whilst the Queen has cancelled her birthday gun salutes on Tuesday in view of the current COVID crisis, we should not let this get in the way of celebrating the day in her honour.

May I propose that we all go outside at 8pm on Tuesday and clap 94 times.

John Eoin Douglas

 

15th of March 2020 - COVID-19 And The Metric Menace

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

15th of March 2020

Dear Sir/Madam,

COVID-19 AND THE METRIC MENACE

It is becoming increasingly obvious that the UK Government cares little for the health and welfare of its older citizens and visitors from the USA.

Its advice on safe distances from others during the current COVID-19 epidemic is quoted only in metric units which do not sit naturally with many of us. At first reading, 2m to me is 2 miles which is impractical for all than the most rural dweller and, even when I get past that initial misunderstanding, I find it difficult to conceptualise what 2 metres actually means.

This follows on from this winter's irresponsible total abandonment of Imperial measures by BBC meteorologists even in forecasts of the most serious weather conditions!

I wonder how many deaths could be avoided if both systems of measurement were shown due respect?

John Eoin Douglas

 

24th of November 2019 - Reality of Farming

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

24th of November 2019

Dear Sir/Madam,

REALITY OF FARMING

I was somewhat surprised to see that Edinburgh Council is to commit more than £27,000 towards the fundraising campaign to save Edinburgh City Farm.

If the intention is to help educate Edinburgh's youngsters about farming, surely the money could be better spent on encouraging visits by school pupils to local abbatoirs, meat processing plants and butchers rather than promoting a totally unrealistic and sentimentalised view of modern animal husbandry practices.

John Eoin Douglas

 

28th of October 2019 - Gardening Leave

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

28th of October 2019

Dear Sir/Madam,

GARDENING LEAVE

I am increasingly exasperated at the moans of self styled "conservationists" about essential economic development in Central Edinburgh whose latest complaints arise from some temporary scaffolding in Princes Street gardens, the effects of which will have long since gone when it comes time to re-erect it for next year's Xmas Market.

When will these dinosaurs realise that as so few locals now live in the City Centre due to Airbnb (and even fewer bother shopping in Princes Street on account of the Council's exorbitant parking charges), visual amenity is irrelevant. Instead, if Edinburgh is to flourish financially in the current Brexit uncertainty, we must encourage tourists (and day visitors from elsewhere in Central Scotland) to come and spend their money on whatever tawdry items may appeal no matter what it does for the city's appearance.

Vegetation can easily be replanted, but unemploment and poverty can blight entire lives.

John Eoin Douglas

 

21st of May 2019 - Brexit Dilemma

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

21st of May 2019

Dear Sir/Madam,

 

BREXIT DILEMMA

Without a published manifesto, how can voters tell if Mr Farage's Brexit Party is willing to get rid of unwanted metrication and return to inches, pounds and Fahrenheit degrees?

At least with the Liberal Democrats you think you know what you're voting for even if it's probably not what you want, could you but understand the units they use!

John Eoin Douglas

 

15th of May 2019 - Thou Shalt Not Kyle?

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

15th of May 2019

Dear Sir/Madam,

THOU SHALT NOT KYLE?

Whilst the suicide of one of the many thousands of participants who have voluntarily taken part in the Jeremy Kyle Show over the 14 years it has entertained millions is regrettable, ITV's kneejerk decision to cancel it is somewhat strange when they continue to air sport like boxing and motor racing where deaths and injury are no strangers. Clearly the lives of sportspeople are considered less valuable than the feckless and often disfunctional souls who inhabited the now cancelled programme.

John Eoin Douglas

 

9th of May 2019 - Can Do

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

9th of May 2019

Dear Sir/Madam,

CAN DO

The Scottish Government is to be congratulated on its plan to introduce a compulsory deposit scheme for drinks containers.

Whilst there are undoubtedly savings to be made in street cleaning and bin emptying as children scour the place for returnable empties, in these days of high technology, it should also be possible to track scheme useage and dock social security payments to and tax those who make a genuine income from scavenging.

John Eoin Douglas

 

18th of April 2019 - Notre Dame For Everyone!

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

18th of April 2019

Dear Sir/Madam,

NOTRE DAME FOR EVERYONE!

I was interested to learn that, despite its monopolisation by Roman Catholics, Notre Dame is owned not by the Vatican but by the French Government.

With French President Emmanuel Macron having already signalled that he is open to new ideas for rebuilding the Cathedral, perhaps it is time to consider reconstructing it as a multi-faith centre for use by all. For example. the incorporation of a minaret in place of the destroyed spire would be of use to Muslims, whilst the provision of a cafe or restaurant would be in the spirit of Laïcité, the secularism on which the French state is founded, and would appeal to persons of all faiths and none especially if dietary regimes like Kosher, Halal and Veganism were to be catered for.

John Eoin Douglas

17th of January 2019 - Out To Lunch

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

17th of January 2019

Dear Sir/Madam,

OUT TO LUNCH

Jeremy Corbyn's refusal to discuss Brexit with the Prime Minister unless No Deal is taken off the table reminds me of the Vegan who refuses to partake from a buffet table groaning with vegetable delights where the sole meat item is a plate of inferior sausages only included to nominally cater for another dietary minority and which no sensible diner will actually touch!

John Eoin Douglas

9th of January 2019 - Moped Fatality

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

9th of January 2019

Dear Sir/Madam,

MOPED FATALITY

Whilst the fatal stabbing of Jayden Moodey in Waltham Forest is most regretable, one really has to ask why his parents permitted the 14-year-old to flout the law of the land by reportedly driving a moped on a public road when the minimum age for so doing is 16?

John Eoin Douglas

26th of December 2018 - Ruined Broadcast

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

26th of December 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

RUINED BROADCAST

One of my annual highlights, the Queen's Christmas Day Broadcast, was totally ruined for me this year by widespread advance publication of its contents.

Leaking details of the broadcast was once virtually a hanging offence but it seems that this is now actually a duty of palace officials. Next year, it would be nice for Her Majesty's remarks to come as a total surprise.

John Eoin Douglas

17th of December 2018 - Gleaming Parts

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

17th of December 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

GLEAMING PARTS

Edinburgh Council has given up discouraging folk from wearing away the statue of Greyfriars Bobby by rubbing its nose.

If the crotch of poet Robert Fergusson's statue in the Canongate were similarly stimulated causing it to gleam inappropriately, would security guards with tasers be employed?

John Eoin Douglas

12th of November 2018 - Word Perfect

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

12th of November 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

WORD PERFECT

Whilst others have been quick to criticise Jeremy Corbyn's sartorial choices, what I found most telling about the Leader of the Opposition's presence at the Cenotaph on Sunday was that he was the only politician singing Oh God Our Help In Ages Past without having to refer to the hymn sheet.

John Eoin Douglas

18th of October 2018 - Kirk Closure Downside

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

18th of October 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

KIRK CLOSURE DOWNSIDE

As an atheist, I was gratified to learn that the number of churchgoers has declined to the extent that the Church of Scotland intends to declare 20 Shetland kirks surplus to requirements.

Nevertheless, as one passionately opposed to the menace of alcohol, I wonder if the continued weekly dispense of palpable nonsense might not be preferable to these buildings falling into the hands of Wetherspoons or other evil purveyors of the demon drug.

John Eoin Douglas

25th of July 2018 - Is There A Convenient Answer?

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
 

25th of July 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

IS THERE A CONVENIENT ANSWER?

Whilst your readers seem unlikely to agree on Brexit, I wonder if they can achieve a consensus on the burning question of our times:

Why do modern on-train toilets require the operation of two buttons to close and lock the door but only one to unlock and open it?

John Eoin Douglas

19th of June 2018 - Drug Damaged

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
 

19th of June 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

DRUG DAMAGED

For years I have believed the statements of successive UK governments that Cannabis is a dangerous and addictive drug that leads inexorably to the destruction of the health and morals of those using it and of society as we know it.

The recent decision by the Home Secretary to hand it out to children can only allow of two conclusions:

Either the substance is safe and we have been lied to - or it is not. In which case, even if it has medicinal properties, it should continue to be banned in the wider interests of society notwithstanding that a few sick and pain-ridden children are collateral damage in the war against drugs.

John Eoin Douglas

14th of June 2018 - Mother Knows Best

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
 

14th of June 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

MOTHER KNOWS BEST

I was appalled at the wanton disrespect shown by SNP MPs to the Mother of Parliaments in pursuit of their narrow nationalism and at the support shown for this by the so called Scottish Parliament.

Nationalists must realise that Mother Knows Best and that Holyrood always was and always will be subservient to Westminster and the interests of England and the UK as a whole.

Despite recent building programmes, Edinburgh still has a dearth of student flats and tourist accommodation. Perhaps this might be a more suitable use for the Scottish Parliament building than as an adventure playground for revolting Scots?

John Eoin Douglas

7th of June 2018 - Green War On High Streets

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
Twitter: @johneoindouglas 
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

7th of June 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

GREEN WAR ON HIGH STREETS

What was most obvious to me watching TV reports of the fall of the House of Fraser was that most of their soon-to-be-closed stores are situated in pedestrianised streets with no parking.

I haven't shopped in my local department store in over 25 years due to the impossibility of getting my car within several hundred yards of the front door - preferring to frequent out of town malls with a superfluity of free and convenient parking.

It must be nice for the Green anti-car lobby to smugly walk and cycle past the shuttered shops of our High Streets the death of which are largely due to their blinkered efforts.

John Eoin Douglas

18th of April 2018 - Light On Leith

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
Twitter: @johneoindouglas
Facebook: johneoin.douglas

Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

18th of April 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

 

LIGHT ON LEITH

Now that Edinburgh Council has published its eagerly awaited final plan for the new road layout in Picardy Place, I'm glad to see that plenty of space has been left amidst the cycle paths for the re-instatement of the much missed Kinetic Sculpture which once graced the centre of the roundabout.

I had thought that this had been long dispatched to the scrapyard, but recent discussions have revealed that it was stored in a depot by the council in 1983 and presumably could be restored to its former glory if there was enough public demand and, dare I say it, financial input from the adjacent developers.

As part of any restoration, sensible application of modern technology could no doubt ensure that it was regularly illuminated as originally intended by its designer Roger Dainton!

John Eoin Douglas

16th of April 2018 - Don't All Windrush

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
Twitter: @johneoindouglas
Facebook: johneoin.douglas

Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

16th of April 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

DON'T ALL WINDRUSH

Surely if all these Windrush immigrants were truly British they would support the Home Office's notion that it is better that a thousand entitled Brits are wrongly cast out from our shores than allow one unentitled foreigner to remain?

John Eoin Douglas