26th of December 2018 - Ruined Broadcast

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
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Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

26th of December 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

RUINED BROADCAST

One of my annual highlights, the Queen's Christmas Day Broadcast, was totally ruined for me this year by widespread advance publication of its contents.

Leaking details of the broadcast was once virtually a hanging offence but it seems that this is now actually a duty of palace officials. Next year, it would be nice for Her Majesty's remarks to come as a total surprise.

John Eoin Douglas

17th of December 2018 - Gleaming Parts

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

17th of December 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

GLEAMING PARTS

Edinburgh Council has given up discouraging folk from wearing away the statue of Greyfriars Bobby by rubbing its nose.

If the crotch of poet Robert Fergusson's statue in the Canongate were similarly stimulated causing it to gleam inappropriately, would security guards with tasers be employed?

John Eoin Douglas

12th of November 2018 - Word Perfect

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

12th of November 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

WORD PERFECT

Whilst others have been quick to criticise Jeremy Corbyn's sartorial choices, what I found most telling about the Leader of the Opposition's presence at the Cenotaph on Sunday was that he was the only politician singing Oh God Our Help In Ages Past without having to refer to the hymn sheet.

John Eoin Douglas

18th of October 2018 - Kirk Closure Downside

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

18th of October 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

KIRK CLOSURE DOWNSIDE

As an atheist, I was gratified to learn that the number of churchgoers has declined to the extent that the Church of Scotland intends to declare 20 Shetland kirks surplus to requirements.

Nevertheless, as one passionately opposed to the menace of alcohol, I wonder if the continued weekly dispense of palpable nonsense might not be preferable to these buildings falling into the hands of Wetherspoons or other evil purveyors of the demon drug.

John Eoin Douglas

25th of July 2018 - Is There A Convenient Answer?

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
 

25th of July 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

IS THERE A CONVENIENT ANSWER?

Whilst your readers seem unlikely to agree on Brexit, I wonder if they can achieve a consensus on the burning question of our times:

Why do modern on-train toilets require the operation of two buttons to close and lock the door but only one to unlock and open it?

John Eoin Douglas

19th of June 2018 - Drug Damaged

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
 

19th of June 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

DRUG DAMAGED

For years I have believed the statements of successive UK governments that Cannabis is a dangerous and addictive drug that leads inexorably to the destruction of the health and morals of those using it and of society as we know it.

The recent decision by the Home Secretary to hand it out to children can only allow of two conclusions:

Either the substance is safe and we have been lied to - or it is not. In which case, even if it has medicinal properties, it should continue to be banned in the wider interests of society notwithstanding that a few sick and pain-ridden children are collateral damage in the war against drugs.

John Eoin Douglas

14th of June 2018 - Mother Knows Best

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
 

14th of June 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

MOTHER KNOWS BEST

I was appalled at the wanton disrespect shown by SNP MPs to the Mother of Parliaments in pursuit of their narrow nationalism and at the support shown for this by the so called Scottish Parliament.

Nationalists must realise that Mother Knows Best and that Holyrood always was and always will be subservient to Westminster and the interests of England and the UK as a whole.

Despite recent building programmes, Edinburgh still has a dearth of student flats and tourist accommodation. Perhaps this might be a more suitable use for the Scottish Parliament building than as an adventure playground for revolting Scots?

John Eoin Douglas

7th of June 2018 - Green War On High Streets

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
Twitter: @johneoindouglas 
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

7th of June 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

GREEN WAR ON HIGH STREETS

What was most obvious to me watching TV reports of the fall of the House of Fraser was that most of their soon-to-be-closed stores are situated in pedestrianised streets with no parking.

I haven't shopped in my local department store in over 25 years due to the impossibility of getting my car within several hundred yards of the front door - preferring to frequent out of town malls with a superfluity of free and convenient parking.

It must be nice for the Green anti-car lobby to smugly walk and cycle past the shuttered shops of our High Streets the death of which are largely due to their blinkered efforts.

John Eoin Douglas

18th of April 2018 - Light On Leith

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
Twitter: @johneoindouglas
Facebook: johneoin.douglas

Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

18th of April 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

 

LIGHT ON LEITH

Now that Edinburgh Council has published its eagerly awaited final plan for the new road layout in Picardy Place, I'm glad to see that plenty of space has been left amidst the cycle paths for the re-instatement of the much missed Kinetic Sculpture which once graced the centre of the roundabout.

I had thought that this had been long dispatched to the scrapyard, but recent discussions have revealed that it was stored in a depot by the council in 1983 and presumably could be restored to its former glory if there was enough public demand and, dare I say it, financial input from the adjacent developers.

As part of any restoration, sensible application of modern technology could no doubt ensure that it was regularly illuminated as originally intended by its designer Roger Dainton!

John Eoin Douglas

16th of April 2018 - Don't All Windrush

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
Twitter: @johneoindouglas
Facebook: johneoin.douglas

Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

16th of April 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

DON'T ALL WINDRUSH

Surely if all these Windrush immigrants were truly British they would support the Home Office's notion that it is better that a thousand entitled Brits are wrongly cast out from our shores than allow one unentitled foreigner to remain?

John Eoin Douglas

17th of March 2018 - Tram Diversion

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/ 

 

17th of March 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

 

TRAM DIVERSION

 

A few years ago, the Edinburgh Evening News ran an April Fool story to the effect that, instead of going down Leith Walk,  the Tram would go along London Road and down Easter Road.

 

Now that short sighted local traders and residents in Leith Walk are objecting to the extension of the Tram past their premises, perhaps it is time to consider this option seriously? Easter Road could do with the economic boost that the Tram would bring and, with only two bus routes, the construction phase need not not cause major public transport upheaval.

 

Whilst I'd be sorry to see the Tram avoiding my area, moaning locals probably don't deserve it and the benefits would be better appreciated in a more deprived area.

 

John Eoin Douglas

14th of March 2018 - Russian In

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/ 

 

14th of March 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

 

RUSSIAN IN

 

Whilst Mrs May's actions against Russia will have the commendable result of reducing our expenditure on profligate diplomatic missions in the light of the expected tit-for-tat response to her expulsion of Russian diplomats, I fear that she really has underplayed her hand.

 

Whereas immediate nationalisation without compensation of all Russian owned property in the UK might lead to a temporary downwards blip in the London property market, selling these assets off by auction could largely finance the costs of Brexit and would allow UK citizens to pick them up at a substantial discount and prices would soon rise again even without further government subsidy of the rental market by increased Housing Benefit.

John Eoin Douglas

6th of February 2018 - Duty Calls

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/ 

 

6th of February 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

 

DUTY CALLS

It would be no bad thing were exiting the customs union to lead to the re-introduction of the customs officer and his traditional stick of chalk which, in skilled hands, was a great discouragement to smuggling of illegal drugs and other contraband.

What concerns me is the distinct possibility that we could see the return of Duty Free sales of alcohol and tobacco to travellers. Use of these harmful drugs is something that should be deprecated and Brexit should not be used as an excuse to promote their consumption and enrich their producers.

John Eoin Douglas

19th of January 2018 - Parking Place

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

19th of January 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

 

PARKING PLACE

Rather than the "cafe, informal seating, street trees, cycle parking and hire, wayfinding and public exhibitions" suggested for the middle of the busy new roundabout at Picardy Place (http://www.broughtonspurtle.org.uk/news/final-plans-picardy-place), would it not be more appropriate to use this area for parking spaces to replace those being lost beside Tesco?

 

John Eoin Douglas