26th of December 2018 - Ruined Broadcast

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
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Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

26th of December 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

RUINED BROADCAST

One of my annual highlights, the Queen's Christmas Day Broadcast, was totally ruined for me this year by widespread advance publication of its contents.

Leaking details of the broadcast was once virtually a hanging offence but it seems that this is now actually a duty of palace officials. Next year, it would be nice for Her Majesty's remarks to come as a total surprise.

John Eoin Douglas

17th of December 2018 - Gleaming Parts

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-546 4479
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

17th of December 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

GLEAMING PARTS

Edinburgh Council has given up discouraging folk from wearing away the statue of Greyfriars Bobby by rubbing its nose.

If the crotch of poet Robert Fergusson's statue in the Canongate were similarly stimulated causing it to gleam inappropriately, would security guards with tasers be employed?

John Eoin Douglas

12th of November 2018 - Word Perfect

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

12th of November 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

WORD PERFECT

Whilst others have been quick to criticise Jeremy Corbyn's sartorial choices, what I found most telling about the Leader of the Opposition's presence at the Cenotaph on Sunday was that he was the only politician singing Oh God Our Help In Ages Past without having to refer to the hymn sheet.

John Eoin Douglas

18th of October 2018 - Kirk Closure Downside

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

 

18th of October 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

KIRK CLOSURE DOWNSIDE

As an atheist, I was gratified to learn that the number of churchgoers has declined to the extent that the Church of Scotland intends to declare 20 Shetland kirks surplus to requirements.

Nevertheless, as one passionately opposed to the menace of alcohol, I wonder if the continued weekly dispense of palpable nonsense might not be preferable to these buildings falling into the hands of Wetherspoons or other evil purveyors of the demon drug.

John Eoin Douglas

25th of July 2018 - Is There A Convenient Answer?

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
 

25th of July 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

IS THERE A CONVENIENT ANSWER?

Whilst your readers seem unlikely to agree on Brexit, I wonder if they can achieve a consensus on the burning question of our times:

Why do modern on-train toilets require the operation of two buttons to close and lock the door but only one to unlock and open it?

John Eoin Douglas

19th of June 2018 - Drug Damaged

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
 

19th of June 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

DRUG DAMAGED

For years I have believed the statements of successive UK governments that Cannabis is a dangerous and addictive drug that leads inexorably to the destruction of the health and morals of those using it and of society as we know it.

The recent decision by the Home Secretary to hand it out to children can only allow of two conclusions:

Either the substance is safe and we have been lied to - or it is not. In which case, even if it has medicinal properties, it should continue to be banned in the wider interests of society notwithstanding that a few sick and pain-ridden children are collateral damage in the war against drugs.

John Eoin Douglas

14th of June 2018 - Mother Knows Best

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895

Twitter: @johneoindouglas

E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
 

14th of June 2018

Dear Sir/Madam,

MOTHER KNOWS BEST

I was appalled at the wanton disrespect shown by SNP MPs to the Mother of Parliaments in pursuit of their narrow nationalism and at the support shown for this by the so called Scottish Parliament.

Nationalists must realise that Mother Knows Best and that Holyrood always was and always will be subservient to Westminster and the interests of England and the UK as a whole.

Despite recent building programmes, Edinburgh still has a dearth of student flats and tourist accommodation. Perhaps this might be a more suitable use for the Scottish Parliament building than as an adventure playground for revolting Scots?

John Eoin Douglas