Tuesday, December 3, 2013

3rd of December 2013 - Haymarket Misery

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

3rd of December 2013

Dear Sir/Madam,

HAYMARKET MISERY

It seems that scaremongering by the pedal cycling minority is now to further inconvenience Edinburghers and in particular those who are mobility challenged.

The closure of the taxi rank at Haymarket will impact those who have difficulty in walking to "nearby" cab ranks.

But if it saves one cyclist...

John Eoin Douglas

Saturday, November 23, 2013

23rd of November 2013 - Off Their Bikes

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/


23rd of November 2013


Dear Sir/Madam,

OFF YOUR BIKES

I deplore calls for Heavy Goods Vehicles to be banned from Central London during the day because of the percentage of these vehicles involved in the death of cyclists. Such a ban would do immeasurable harm to the economy of the Capital and would cost us all dear.

As 100% of these fatal incidents involved pedal cycles, surely it would be more to the point to ban these dangerous contraptions during the rush hour? Or, better still, permanently.
After all, if it saves one child...

John Eoin Douglas

Friday, October 25, 2013

25th of October 2013 - Green Grangemouth Alternative

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/
 
25th of October 2013

Dear Sir/Madam,

GREEN GRANGEMOUTH ALTERNATIVE

For those for whom environment is more important than industry, it's sad that the plants at Grangemouth are to re-open. The last week of closure has seen a remarkable improvement in air quality in the area.

Surely the Green Agenda would be to move these polluting activities to poorer countries and re-use the land for building call centres - the staffing of which Scottish workers seem to be particularly well suited and able to compete on price and quality with the likes of India. In fact, why not a swap?

John Eoin Douglas


Monday, October 21, 2013

21st of October 2013 - Making Tracks Safe

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

21st of October 2013

Dear Sir/Madam,
MAKING TRACKS SAFE

Once again I hear the moans of Edinburgh pedalists over their precious bicycles being trapped in tram tracks and throwing their burdens to the ground. Somehow, previous generations of cyclists managed perfectly prior to the departure of the last Edinburgh tram in 1956 - with some lines even having a third slot to negotiate.

But, something must indeed be done. It is clear that safety should be the watchword of our City. For minimal expenditure on a few road signs, traffic managers could ban cyclists from all areas with tram tracks. It's something most right thinking Burghers would support. And, after all, if it saves one child...

John Eoin Douglas

Saturday, September 14, 2013

14th of September 2013 - Cycling Danger

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

14th of September 2013

Dear Sir/Madam,

CYCLING DANGER

One of the things that I have noticed over the years whilst driving through Cumbria is the draconian enforcement of motoring legislation by police on the M6.

I was surprised, therefore, whilst strolling through Carlisle the other evening during a short holiday, to discover that the city has some of the most unruly pedal cyclists that I have ever encountered. Over half of those on the road were neither illuminated to front nor rear. And several were riding on the pavement at speed - one even swore at me when I chose not to get out of his way with sufficient alacrity.

I am well accustomed to dealing with scofflaw pedalists in Edinburgh and have found the accidental introduction of a stout walking stick between the spokes of their machines to be a most effective way of combating their dangerous antics.

However, walking sticks are expensive and to be resorted to only if the police fail to do their job. Over to you Cumbria Constabulary!

John Eoin Douglas

Monday, July 22, 2013

22nd of July 2013 - Weighty Argument

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

22nd of July 2013

Dear Sir/Madam,

WEIGHTY ARGUMENT

It has been most gratifying and appropriate to see the BBC announce the 8lb 6oz weight of the Royal Baby in Imperial units.

Sadly, the BBC seems to have such a love affair with Metric units that they are normally used even when public safety is at stake - as with the recent warnings of over-hot weather given repeatedly in Celsius when those most likely to be affected better understand Fahrenheit.

If the Royal Birth has made the BBC reconsider their position on this, then it may well be time for cynical Republicans like myself to reconsider our stance on the Monarchy.

John Eoin Douglas

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

26th of June 2013 - Tongues Of Men

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

26th of June 2013

Dear Sir/Madam,

TONGUES OF MEN

The Chancellor of the Exchequer has announced that Social Security claimants will in future be required to attend compulsory English classes if they are not fluent in the language.

It will be interesting to see just how seriously the heads of our devolved governments take the existing statutory protection of the UK's other native languages (Gaelic in Scotland, Welsh in Wales and Irish and Ulster Scots in Northern Ireland) by demanding that classes in these languages be offered as an alternative.

If not, will monoglot speakers of these tongues also be forced to learn English or is this new legislation aimed solely at Johnny Foreigner and native born Geordies?

John Eoin Douglas

Friday, May 24, 2013

24th of May 2013 - Human Detritus

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

24th of May 2013

Dear Sir/Madam,

HUMAN DETRITUS

http://www.ilfordrecorder.co.uk/news/crime-court/police_swoop_on_the_homeless_taking_sleeping_bags_and_food_parcels_in_co_ordinated_raids_in_redbridge_1_2206446

I found the critical tone of your report at police action to discourage indigent persons from untidily manifesting their willful homelessness in Redbridge somewhat unfortunate.

This is exactly the sort of police operation that should be encouraged (and the law changed if it conflicts with "Human Rights" legislation).

As any tabloid reader knows, homeless people have but to ask their local authority for accommodation. But then, they'd only moan about the "Bedroom Tax" when given a two bedroom flat!

John Eoin Douglas

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

30th of April 2013 - Rubbish Suggestion

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

30th of April 2013

Dear Sir/Madam,

RUBBISH SUGGESTION

I am sorry to learn that Edinburgh's Old Town has now to suffer from the monstrous sight of black communal wheelie bins.

Why can our council not return to a traditional solution? A nightly shout of "gardyloo" would surely appeal to our tourist industry, whilst the clearing up in the morning of the resultant fenestral effusion of refuse would be a sensible source of gainful employment for our increasing army of indigent persons who, in these days of austerity and reduced social security, seem to be reduced to similarly littering the streets with their begging bowls.

John Eoin Douglas

30th of April 2013 - Doing Bird

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

30th of April 2013

Dear Sir/Madam,

DOING BIRD

I am appalled at the sexist basis of Justice Secretary Chris Grayling's cynical populism in decreeing that only male prisoners in England and Wales must work harder for privileges. In these days of equality legislation, why does his move not also apply to female prisoners?

John Eoin Douglas

Thursday, April 4, 2013

4th of April 2013 - Consider All The Victims

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

4th of April 2013

Dear Sir/Madam,

CONSIDER ALL THE VICTIMS

It really sorrows me to see the bile being cast upon Mairead Philpott after her conviction along with husband Mick and and friend Paul Mosley over the death of her six children.

Whilst the two men seem somewhat vile individuals who could well benefit from a few years in gaol, it is clear from the manslaughter charges brought that they never intended to injure anybody but merely suffered from extreme stupidity.

Rather than being locked up at vast public expense, surely hearing the screams of her dying children should be enough punishment for Mrs Philpott who seems to have been just as much a victim of her husband's controlling ways as the unfortunate children themselves.

John Eoin Douglas

Monday, March 11, 2013

11th of March 2013 - Driving Forward

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

11th of March 2013

Dear Sir/Madam,

DRIVING FORWARD

I am glad to see Chris Huhne's former wife Vicky Pryce reaping the dividend of her perfidious treachery in the shape of an eight month gaol sentence.

Closer to home, whereas I am prepared to admit that I have a clean driving licence whilst my wife regrettably has three points on hers, neither of us will be making any comment to anybody!

John Eoin Douglas

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

5th of February 2013 - Flagging College

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

5th of February 2013

Dear Sir/Madam,

FLAGGING COLLEGE

I am sorry to see that standards at the newly formed Edinburgh College are already on the decline.

At their campus in Milton Road, the Union Flag is currently being flown inverted - a signal of distress.

And this at a former Naval College!

John Eoin Douglas

Monday, January 28, 2013

28th of January 2013 - On Your Bike

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

28th of January 2013

Dear Sir/Madam,

ON YOUR BIKE

As Spokes, the apologists for pedal cyclists, are seeking to ban all traffic from Princes Street apart from trams and their accursed velocipedes, I'm surprised that they aren't also asking City of Edinburgh Council to ban trams in view of that curious fatal mutual attraction between bicycle wheel and tram track which seems to lead to nothing but spills, thrills and insurance claims.

Bearing in mind how often I see narrow misses between irresponsible pedestrians and the furiously riding generally unilluminated pedalists represented by Spokes, perhaps pedestrians should be banned as well.

After all, if it saves one cyclist...

John Eoin Douglas

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

16th of January 2013 - Unsound Retailing

7 Spey Terrace
Edinburgh
EH7 4PX
Telephone: 0131-550 0895
E-mail: JohnEDouglas@gmail.com
Blog: http://johneoindouglas.blogspot.com/

16th of January 2013

Dear Sir/Madam,

UNSOUND RETAILING

Whilst it is very sad for employees of Jessops, Blockbuster and HMV to lose their jobs at this time of year, the loss of these retail outlets really needs to be put into perspective. If Internet traders can supply goods cheaper and more conveniently  than town centre shops (with all their parking problems deliberately engineered by local councils), then these dinosaur enterprises will inevitably become extinct.

Perhaps if HMV had not alienated customers like myself by stopping stocking their traditional 78's, I might have been persuaded to continue shopping there. As it is, my needs are now more than adequately catered for online!

John Eoin Douglas